Transcript from the First Time I Ever Called a Girl in 6th Grade
(Originally published 2/9/09)
KATE: Hello?
ERIC: Hi, is Kate there?
KATE: This is she.
ERIC: Hi, She. Is Kate there?
KATE: I’m Kate. Who’s this?
ERIC: This is Eric. Eric Kester. I was just calling to say hi…so, what’s up?
KATE: Nothing much, you?
ERIC: Not too much, you?
KATE: Nothing…
(Silence)
KATE: You there?
ERIC: Yeah, hi. So, uhhh, lately what music have you been listening to as of late?
KATE: I got the new Third Eye Blind CD the other day. It’s pretty good.
(Silence)
ERIC: I like Sex and Candy.
KATE: Excuse me?
ERIC: Sex and Candy. Love it. Woke up to it every day this week.
KATE: Oh…
ERIC: Yeah, it’s great. Like if I have a crappy day, I’ll just go up to my room for a little Sex and Candy. Totally relaxes me. My neighbor, David, loves it too.
KATE: Umm ok….
ERIC: Actually, I think Sex and Candy might be my favorite song ever. “Marcy Playground” is a great band.
KATE: Haven’t heard of it…
ERIC: So…this weekend what are your plans for the weekend? Any plans?
KATE: I think Jess and I are gonna go to the mall for some shopping.
ERIC: I’m pretty sure that Jess hates me. She’s never forgiven me for taking her V-Card.
KATE: What?!
ERIC: Yeah, I snatched it last year. I’ve never seen a girl cry so much.
KATE: That’s horrible!
ERIC: No, she totally deserved it. She spread this nasty rumor about me, so I waited until her back was turned and BAM -I went into her bag and stole the Valentine’s Card that I made her. She was real upset.
KATE: Oh I see…
(Silence)
KATE: You there?
ERIC: Yeah…sorry. I’m just at a tough part right now.
KATE: Are you playing a video game?
ERIC: Yup, “Goldeneye”. You know in the second part of the third level when you are escaping the facility on a tank? I keep failing the mission because I’m running over too many civilians. Hold on a sec…
(Silence)
(Silence)
ERIC: Okay I beat it. So anyway, I was wondering if you, like, maybe wanted to meet up for some food or even some lunch or something?
(Silence)
ERIC: Hello?
